Wednesday, August 26, 2009

It's Coming Together

Piece by piece, its all falling into place and things are looking up. This makes me happy and have some hope for the future that it won't be so crappy after all.

I told him about me wanting him to meet my mom and he was cool with it. I told him I booked the room for the wedding and we're looking forward to it. =o) He's trying to plan something for my birthday and I'm excited to see what it is. I'm trying to plan a small day out for the two of us sometime before then. Nothing major, just something to show I appreciate the things he does for me.

Anywhoo, I set my graduation date for Feb 1, 2010. I will be SO done with school. I have decided to take the time off to work and do some of the other things I wrote about previously. I will be starting my other job in October, so hopefully the extra income will help me pay bills and save money. Still I'm going to cut out some of the going out because it does add up. I look at it this way - it's going to be cold out in a few months so no one will want to do anything. Right? LOL I'll be busy in the Fall anyway. 15 credits at 2 different schools, internship at the hospital, and 2 jobs. It will be tough, but I have to do it for myself. I'm going to need my friends and family to be supportive of me and help keep me motivated! It'll make things all that much easier and remind me of my goals.

BTW I have decided to share my blog with people this time around. Hopefully it's a good thing.

That's all I have for now. See you in a few.

- L

Monday, August 24, 2009

Revelations

So I'm on the train to go meet my boyfriend and thinking about this weekend and wedding stuff and there's a lot running through my mind. First of all it's hard getting used to saying my boyfriend. I haven't said that in awhile. I stopped calling my ex my boyfriend after like 6 months. Second of all I realized that since I'm bringing him to the wedding that he's gonna meet some of the family, but technically he hasn't officially met my mother other than being caught. This bothers me and I'm going to talk to him abt this because I want to tell her. For the very first time I WANT my mom to meet him. That means a lot. I've actually found someone that I'm proud to bring home and call mine. Big revelation I'm growing up finally LOL.

Among other things I registered for graduation and will be graduating (hopefully) in February. Yay me! I have been thinking about grad school and getting my Master's, but realistically I'm going to need a break from school and take time to work and save some money. I want to pay off my bills, get my own apartment and move out of my mom's place. I'm also going to need to get money to pay for more school because we all know grad school is not cheap at all. So I'm going to say a year off is feasible. I know my mom isn't going to like it but I need to do this for myself. I'm still young and a year won't push me back that far. I'm still trying to figure out what I wanna do with myself and all that so why not. Shit I might try something different like culinary school. Who knows.

My stop on the train now. Write more later.

- L

Monday, August 10, 2009

Changes

This seems to be the year and as per the trend amongst my friends we are all making lists and notes of things that we're trying to change about ourselves. So here is my little collection.

To try and stop cursing so much. Adjust the way I speak to reflect the education I do have.

Change my attitude and don't be so judgmental/make fun of people.

Stop putting all my personal ish out there on the internet [via FB or Twitter]

Be a young woman in the way I dress and act. I have to realize the way I present myself to others has to reflect my personality and maturity. First impressions are key because sometimes you don't get another chance.

Be a better a person overall that people can look up to and feel comfortable around or coming to me for help/advice. Sometimes I can be a bit much and people feel intimidated because I'm so snooty or play HBIC and that's not always the case.

I'll go more into detail another time.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Frustration

I was being optimistic about getting a new job and searching for one etc, but it is tiring and I have given up somewhat. I did manage to get one interview, but it's not til next week, and I keep on finding ways to get my boss to cut my suspension. I counted the calendar days for the pay periods and I might be able to go to work a week earlier. I have to talk to them about it and see. Ughh it's frustrating me not working and not having anything to do. I would like to say I'm using this time to work out and go to the gym, clean the house or go out and do things, but I can't. I have cleaned the house somewhat, but the shitty weather we've been having has dampened my moods and made me lazy. And then there's the whole not having any money to do shit.. that fucks me up too. =oX

My mom just left for a week on vacation and its been a day and I miss her already. For as much as we argue and have our issues, she's still my mom. I was mad because she left on a late night flight and didn't call me when she got down there, but she called her boyfriend. I had to call him to find out if she got down there OK. So not cool.

Other than that, my boo has been working and what not and I have used some of the time off to go see him when I can, meeting him after work or what not but I miss him too. I was spoiled from seeing him whenever I wanted earlier before he started work and when I was in summer class. :sigh: But I've said it before, I am most definitely NOT going to repeat any of my other relationship fails or mistakes and I am taking it slow with him. What we have is understood between us and does not need to be put on display for the world to see or explained to everyone.

Anyway this was all random, been so frustrated and bored, but I will be better this week. I'm going to try anyway.

-L