Sunday, November 22, 2009

Significance

There is a significance and a meaning behind my tattoos. I'm just putting that out there. Now I do not seek or need people's approval, but certain people look at me like I'm crazy for the things I do and are quick to pass judgment on me. But they don't know me or the reasons I do things. I'm not totally crazy, there is a method to my madness. There are only a few people out there that take the time to figure me out.

So I have 6 tattoos, yes 6. They are not all in extremely visible places and most often than not, people hardly ever know I even have tattoos. I just recently got my 6th one this Friday. Tattoos are my thing. I'm more into them than piercings. It's how I express myself and who I am without being too extreme. None of the ones I have are ridiculously large or over the top. I'm going to break them down here now.

1 - my first tattoo was on my lower back [tramp stamp, I know] and it's of a strawberry on a vine in color. I was 15 when I got it, my mom took me. I like strawberries, and still do to this day. IDK why, but I've always been into them. Got strawberries on everything from my socks and undies to pens, paper and ceramics. It's cute, maybe not my finest tattoo ever, but I like it. Growing a little tired of it now, only because of all the tramp stamp references, and because I want to re-do it and make it pop more, have some more pizazz..

2 - I got this for my 19th birthday, my mom also took me to get this one. It's my zodiac sign on my left shoulder in black and shaded gray. It's simple and represents a part of me, I believe that for the most part, I have the qualities of my sign.

3 - The first one I got on my own for my 21st birthday. Chinese symbols for faith and hope in black. It's a part of my heritage, and because you should always have faith in something, and hope for the best, hope for a better tomorrow. They go hand in hand. Having faith helps you hope for something.

4 - Between my shoulders at the base of my neck, the infinity symbol with the words "today tomorrow forever" in it. Outline is in black, shaded in gray with the words in black. let's not go there with the original meaning, but let's just say for now that I will never forget the past. Without it, I would not be here, I would not be who I am today. So my past is an important part of me and will always be remembered, to help me strive for a better future and not to repeat my mistakes.

5 - On the back of my neck, the Hindu Ohm symbol in all black. Because I like what it stands for spiritually, relates to another part of my heritage and looks amazing.

6 - The word Believe on the inside of my left wrist in all black. I like this one very much. It has the most significance and it's my favorite tattoo and relates to #3. You always have to believe in something. If you don't believe in change, hope for a better tomorrow and have faith that it will come, then you won't go anywhere. You have to believe. There is plenty of power behind that one word.

There may or may not be more to come, but as I get older, I am becoming more conscious and aware of where I put them. I want to keep them in places where time and old age won't disturb them or the meaning.

- L

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Domestication

So I have realized that I can be quite the domestic woman WHEN I want to be. I love to cook and bake, I'm always trying to move around things in my room for aesthetics. I can do all the homey, "wifely" duties [if i so choose to] but then I have my moments where I can be the dude. For example, I'm going shopping for a frying pan. Yes, a friggin frying pan. For those of you that knew/know me, I would never in a million years say something like that before. But then on the flipside I want my dinner cooked and brought to me tonight, while someone else cleans and irons for me while I watch TV. Then again who doesn't go through that or have those "nigga" moments? As women, we are expected to play certain roles and do certain things, sometimes its automatically assumed that we're supposed to know how to cook and iron, etc. Then if you don't know how to do some of that stuff, people look at you like "what? you're a woman, you're supposed to know how to or be able to do such and such" That look doesn't come from just men either, fellow females, you know you are guilty of it as well! When your friend from down the block says she can't boil water to save her life, you know you have that thought in the back of your head "well how she gonna expect to get a man like that?" or "didn't her momma teach her better?" or even "how does she survive like that?"

Now before you get on me, I am not trying to play like I'm a big feminist, because you all know as well as I do, that I am most definitely NOT. But I do go through moments where I think about things and wonder why it is, or how it has come to be. This is one of those things.

I'm basically trying to say that even in this "modern" day society, women are still expected to play the role of the care-giver and motherly figure that takes care of all the household duties [at least in most cultures] while the men are bringing home the bacon. Yet I find it's not that unusual nowadays for a man to know how to take care of his own household duties. [I give kudos to the men that know how to cook, do laundry, sew and all that stuff, because the Lord knows that I don't always feel like doing all that extra ish] Society still has these ideals and responsibilities placed on women, but its time to face it that a woman can also be the money maker, and the man can also be a care-giver. The roles have not been switched, more they have been equally divided.

Anyway that was random. Take it how you want it.

- L

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Getting a Start on Things

So I am actually laying down the building blocks of my great plans to move forward in life and become an adult. I have written out several lists of things to accomplish in 2010. The first and most important being - to find a decent and stable job and save up enough money to move out. I have already made moves towards calculating a budget and seeing how much is necessary per month to afford living on my own. I have realized I would need a roommate and I have the perfect person in mind. No, it is not my boyfriend. That would be cool, but not for another few years.

I have also started looking into the small things I'd need for an apartment like furniture, food, small appliances, pots and pans, etc. Best believe I will be hitting up yard sales and the sidewalks during garbage days! No shame in my game, but I will be bumming it out for the first few months. If I visit the food pantry or raid your kitchen, don't be too mad at me. LOL

With the current job situation, knock on wood, it has been working out. I have gotten extra hours and days at work, and the holiday job I have will make up for the time I was suspended from work. I will use the money made from my holiday job to start up my savings. I will also not be going out anywhere for the rest of the year unless its free. No more buying unnecessary items. I have to keep it strict and watch what I spend and how I spend it. I will and can make this work.

Other than that, my man has met not only the family from the wedding that likes him, but my friends from work, who also approve and like him. They just said he's quiet, which is true, but he will warm up to them. We are very happy together. The communication is there, the understanding and the trust. I feel truly good about the way we got to know each other and start off the relationship. I mean the circumstances may not have been the best, but we actually got to know each other pretty well as friends first before getting into a relationship. Hard to believe, I know, especially coming from me. But anyway the point is, I see it all coming together and falling into place. So it does make me realize that you can't rush things, everything comes in time. I am grateful for that.

Until next time,

- L