Saturday, April 23, 2016

Catching Up and Reflecting (Sort of)

It's been a long time. I wasn't joking when I said my travel schedule was ramped up in Jan. It still is going strong until mid-May. Then I can take a breather and have more time to myself. Looking back at some of my older posts, it makes me wonder where I found the time to post. I also read through some of my old posts and wondered where in my life I thought I was having these crises. LOL But one thing for sure, I have changed and gained some insight to my life. Some things remain constant - still unsure about work life. I'm still at this job and going through some struggles. Some of my issues and rants have gotten better. That's a plus. So some minor catching up of sorts...

I am no longer married. At least at the moment we are separated and taking time off to see where we will be in a few months before making a final decision. It wasn't easy and I was devastated. Those of you that know me, know that I have never been in a relationship this long, or this fully committed. I've always been faithful, don't get me wrong. But I've never been ride or die, or as down for anyone as I was for him. It hurt. Still does, but I am getting stronger each day. It actually has been since December, and if you follow me on social media - at least on Twitter - you've probably seen some of the nasty feels and seen the emotional process. It didn't get too ugly, I tried to keep most of it off of social media. This is the first time I am addressing it head on in public. Only my friends and super close family knew what was going on with me/us. The separation of us. It's still weird thinking of things in the singular. There is no more we/us. I haven't made any of our shared friends choose sides, that would be wrong. Some of them have made their decisions, as seen by invitations or lack of invitations to group events. At first I was upset about it, but now I'm over it. Whoever is meant to be in your life will make the efforts to be a part of it. Cliche, but true. I am seeing more now than ever, who is really and truly there for me. I'm not getting too into this and it may have its own condensed post at some point, but probably not. 

Moving on to the next point(s)..

I have gotten way better at my makeup skills and skin care routine. I laughed when I read and saw the pictures in my old posts. New routines and products will be updated eventually. I originally had thought of giving this blog a new look and focus mainly on makeup and swatches. I do find (for me) it hard to look for swatches of nail polishes, lipsticks, foundations, etc on my skin tone or similar. It's either really white/pale skinned folks (can't leave out the boys!) or darker skin. There ain't nothing wrong with either, and I am honestly glad to see the darker ends of the spectrum being represented by more and more companies. But dang, the middle part of the spectrum needs some love too. I found some bloggers and more well known YouTubers in similar ranges, but the problem I find is that I don't know how honest the reviews are. Most of them are sponsored, overphotoshopped, or not relateable to a regular person who isn't a proMUA already. So I wanted to do something for the everyday Joes and Janes of the world. I still may consider this, even though my collection may not be as big as others, I feel like I have a good selection of brands and colors. I'm always picking up new things along the way too. Which may or not be a sign of an addicition. That's a whole post in itself too! Either way, the blog needs a facelift and re-branding of sorts when I find the time.

I have gained an incredible amount of weight compared to where I was a few years ago in my other posts. It makes me sad and I know I have to do better. I still carry my weight well, but I am becoming more conscious of it. Especially since I do more professional events for work and I have to dress up more. Dress clothes for anyone over a size 10/12 is a nightmare. I'm a 12/14, mostly because of the twins up top and wider hips. I still have a defined waist, and I carry most of my weight in my lower half. But my stomach is more noticeable now than ever. And I need to work on that. In the mean time, I have been looking for and buying more flattering clothes to my figure. I am a true believer in dresses now, and don't know why I never embraced them before. Dresses make getting ready in the mornings so much easier. They're ready-made, instant outfits. No planning or matching necessary. Just throw on some shoes and accessories and done! Dresses are now taking over my wardrobe, especially since I can't find a decent pair of professional work pants to save my life. That quest is never ending. 

Other than that, life is on the up and up. I can't say I've hit rock bottom, but things are looking up. After all the only way is up right? Positive thinking and all that.

Til the next time,
- L